Rugrats 202

Forgive Uncle Reid. He just can’t help riling up the kids—especially when there’s something to be learned from it.


Published:

Simon, then 7, one of my niece and nephew’s triplets, was showing me the letters and numbers he had learned in his first-grade class last spring.

“Now, you see, Uncle Reid, this is the letter L,” he explained, drawing it in the wet sand.

“That’s not an L. That’s the number two,” I replied in mock surprise.

Simon looked up at me with a blue-eyed gaze of pure shock. He took a moment, regrouped, then scratched a t in the sand. “And this is a small T,” he said, expecting I’d understand.

“That’s a four, Simon. What are you doing, trying to fool me?”

Simon, growing more emphatic and concerned about the sanity of his great uncle, tried one more time, carving a 7 in the wet sand. “And this is a seven,” he intoned, with the hint of exasperation of a worried mentor.

I sighed and shook me head disappointedly. “Simon, that is the letter N. What are they teaching you at that school?”

Simon shook his head like he was clearing his brain of cobwebs and trundled into the surf, muttering aloud to the crashing waves, in wonderment at how his uncle got out of grade school.

Meanwhile, Anna Katherine, age 4, was digging a hole with her friend Connor. “So how does it feel to be three now?” I asked brightly as I approached.

“I’m four,” she exclaimed.

“Anna, you can’t be four, you were just two,” I replied.

“She was just three,” Connor corrected, a look of confusion gathering on his sand-coated face.

“Well, I think you two are just fooling with me, because I happen to know for sure she’s only three.”

Anna’s and Connor’s digging grew more hurried and purposeful, as if they had just hit upon an idea of what (or whom, perhaps) to fill that hole with.

Back at the beach house, I had succeeded in riling the entire brood of grand nephews, nieces and their friends into some kind of midget-human phalanx of sidewinder missiles hurling themselves into me like I was the Gaza Strip.

“That was a seven,” screamed Simon. “I’m four.” shouted Anna Katherine. “Let’s get Uncle Reid,” yelled Kirk, 10, who was well past the age where I had any chance of screwing around with his intellectual development. Simon’s triplet sister Emma and brother Jacob soon joined him in a sort of MIRV mass attack.

I left the beach house, battered and bruised, yet satisfied that I had given them a kind of sugar rush to keep the parents in turmoil late into the night.

The next morning, Simon saw me walking toward the family’s umbrella and came bounding out of the water. “Now, Uncle Reid, listen to me.” He drew a T in the sand. “This is a capital T.”

“Yes, it is, Simon,” I said.

A furrow ran across his brow. He carefully drew the number two. “And this is a 2.”

“Naturally, I replied. He eyed me cagily, then drew an M. “And this is a capital M,” he declared, though warily.

“Well, yeah, Simon, of course it is,” I said, shrugging indifferently.

He threw a look of askance, then nodded. “So, Uncle Reid, you went to school and learned something, huh?”

Art Linkletter said “Kids say the darnedest things,” but the real fun is what you can do to get them lathered into saying those things.

As I left the beach, I could hear Anna Katherine shouting, “I’m four,” and Connor right behind her crying out, “And you don’t even know the difference between a three and a four.”

Reid Champagne is a firm believer in early education, though we wish he had availed himself of it when he was young.

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May 2018

Mary Pritchard is an award winning pastel artist from Chestertown, Maryland. Following a career in education administration at the University of Delaware, Mary returned to painting full-time....

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Cost: free

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Sponsor: Delaware Division of the Arts
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Telephone: 302-656-6466
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Sponsor: Winterthur Museum, Garden & Library
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820 N. French St.
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Sponsor: Delaware Division of the Arts
Telephone: 302-577-8283
Contact Name: Roxanne Stanulis
Website »

More information

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Cost: free

Where:
The Station Gallery
3922 Kennett Pike
Greenville, DE  19807
View map »


Telephone: 302-654-8638
Website »

More information

Mary Pritchard is an award winning pastel artist from Chestertown, Maryland. Following a career in education administration at the University of Delaware, Mary returned to painting full-time....

Cost: free

Where:
The Station Gallery
3922 Kennett Pike
Greenville, DE  19807
View map »


Telephone: 302-654-8638
Website »

More information

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Cost: free

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The Station Gallery
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Telephone: 302-654-8638
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View map »


Telephone: 302-656-6466
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Cost: Included with general admission ($5-20)

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View map »


Sponsor: Winterthur Museum, Garden & Library
Telephone: 800.448.3883
Contact Name: Information and Tours
Website »

More information

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Cost: FREE

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200 South Madison Street
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Telephone: 302-656-6466
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Cost: Free

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820 N. French St.
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View map »


Sponsor: Delaware Division of the Arts
Telephone: 302-577-8283
Contact Name: Roxanne Stanulis
Website »

More information

Mary Pritchard is an award winning pastel artist from Chestertown, Maryland. Following a career in education administration at the University of Delaware, Mary returned to painting full-time....

Cost: free

Where:
The Station Gallery
3922 Kennett Pike
Greenville, DE  19807
View map »


Telephone: 302-654-8638
Website »

More information

Mary Pritchard is an award winning pastel artist from Chestertown, Maryland. Following a career in education administration at the University of Delaware, Mary returned to painting full-time....

Cost: free

Where:
The Station Gallery
3922 Kennett Pike
Greenville, DE  19807
View map »


Telephone: 302-654-8638
Website »

More information

Mary Pritchard is an award winning pastel artist from Chestertown, Maryland. Following a career in education administration at the University of Delaware, Mary returned to painting full-time....

Cost: free

Where:
The Station Gallery
3922 Kennett Pike
Greenville, DE  19807
View map »


Telephone: 302-654-8638
Website »

More information

A needle's eye in a pond, a Greek temple in the garden, an Ottoman tent sitting on a hill—these are just a few of the inspirations for our upcoming, first-ever outdoor exhibition Follies:...

Cost: Included with general admission ($5-20)

Where:
Winterthur Museum, Garden & Library
5105 Kennett Pike
Wilmington, DE  19807
View map »


Sponsor: Winterthur Museum, Garden & Library
Telephone: 800.448.3883
Contact Name: Information and Tours
Website »

More information

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Cost: FREE

Where:
The Delaware Contemporary
200 South Madison Street
Wilmington, DE  19801
View map »


Telephone: 302-656-6466
Website »

More information

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Cost: FREE

Where:
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200 South Madison Street
Wilmington, DE  19801
View map »


Telephone: 302-656-6466
Website »

More information

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Cost: Free

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THE FIGURE: THE INDICATIVE AND THE ALLUSIVE Group Exhibition  April 1 - August 26, 2018 Opening Reception: Friday, April 6, 2018 | 5 - 9 PM during Art Loop with Panel Discussion: 6 - 7 PM...

Cost: FREE

Where:
The Delaware Contemporary
200 South Madison Street
Wilmington, DE  19801
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Telephone: 302-656-6466
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A needle's eye in a pond, a Greek temple in the garden, an Ottoman tent sitting on a hill—these are just a few of the inspirations for our upcoming, first-ever outdoor exhibition Follies:...

Cost: Included with general admission ($5-20)

Where:
Winterthur Museum, Garden & Library
5105 Kennett Pike
Wilmington, DE  19807
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Sponsor: Winterthur Museum, Garden & Library
Telephone: 800.448.3883
Contact Name: Information and Tours
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Science Saturday – River Rangers River Rangers learn how to gauge the health of our local waterways by observing the variety of critters living in it. Visitors of all ages are invited to...

Cost: Activities are included in regular admission and free for members.

Where:
Hagley Museum
201 Hagley Creek Road
Wilmington, DE
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Sponsor: Hagley Museum & Library
Telephone: (302) 65802400 x 238
Contact Name: Jessica Eisenbrey
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