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FeedEtiquette, Expounded
Local planners suggest answers to the common conundrums of wedding planning.
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A warning to potential mothers of the brides: Your daughter’s wedding might not look anything like yours.
“The modern bride wants to be different,” says Casey Kieffer, co-owner of Make My Day Event Planning in Milford. “It’s not that tradition falls by the wayside, but every new generation of bride puts her stamp on things.”
That could mean anything from skipping the foie gras at a black-tie wedding and going with mac and cheese, like one of Kieffer’s brides did, or gliding down the aisle in a frothy minidress instead of long white satin.
But not everything changes.
“There are certain elements of the way things should be done,” Kieffer says, “and no matter how different a bride does things, these things stay the same.”
If you’re a bride-to-be or have an upcoming wedding to attend, brush up on your bridal etiquette. Your mother will be glad you did.
Give This Man A Hand
Prospective grooms should still ask his intended’s parents for her hand before he proposes. “This is a nice gesture, especially for the girl who’s close to her parents and wants to do things traditionally,” says Erin Proud, owner of Proud To Plan in Wilmington. She suggests the groom do so two to three months before the proposal. “If he’s worried about her parents ruining the surprise, it’s OK to ask closer to the actual proposal,” she says. If the parents live nearby, there is no excuse not to speak in person. If they live far away, a phone call is acceptable. If the parents embrace their daughter’s independent nature, Proud suggests tailoring the approach. “Ask for blessing, not permission.”
Your Initial Response
“Many weddings are built around a theme, like the couple’s new monogram,” Kieffer says. “But the question becomes: Is it ok to send out information with our monogram on it if we’re not married yet?” Doing so could offend some, so a good rule of thumb is to use first initials only on save-the-date cards and other informal communication, such as inserts or a couple’s wedding web site. For the formal invitation, Kieffer says it’s appropriate to use new initials. And, of course, at the reception, a monogram is appropriate everywhere.
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